The Day of the Poop Apocalypse

Before it happened

It was a cold day. The sun was shining but the air hurt as it hit your face. It was mid morning. Right around the time that the toddler who had been running around playing all morning would be settling down for a nice afternoon nap. Mom was enjoying her now cold up of coffee and smiling at him being silly in the living room. He was sitting in his little reading chair, with a new book he had selected the day prior at the library. He was pretending to read the book, chatting to himself, turning the pages. Mom was wondering where the time had gone, he was just a little newborn, and now he was a little human. The dogs were all curled up on the couches enjoying a nice quiet morning, their tiny human hadn’t touched them to much this morning, it was nice. They even got to finish his pancake and eggs he was to full to finish.

The toddler was sitting so nicely that mom decided she could take this time to get some things picked up off the floor. The toddlers new game was to dump out all of his building blocks then rake them across the floor so they were everywhere. Mom started singing the clean up song, and the toddler took notice that it was time to help mommy. Then she heard it. It was like a rumbling motor of an old Chevy trying to start up. But, it wasn’t a car, no, it was coming from the toddler. He giggled. Body noises are very silly to him. Then, she heard it again. She knew what was happening. IT was happening.

As the toddler stood up the world as she knew it stopped. Poop. Poop EVER WHERE! Was this really happening? She was an experienced mom. She could handle pretty much anything that was thrown her way. She considered herself pretty lucky this time around, the baby had actually never blown out of his diaper until this point. Today. Today was the day, of the poop apocalypse.

Mom just sat there stunned. Assessing the situation that was laid out before her, literally. There was poop on the chair. Poop up his back. Poop down his legs. Poop on the carpet. There was even poop on the dog. HOW DID POOP GET ON THE DOG?! With her mouth open, her sleeves rolled up, she got to work. As she was walking down the hall to grab a diaper, and some new clothes, and the bleach, she heard it. This time it wasn’t the same sound as before, no this time it was so much worse. It was………..THE DOORBELL!

“What the fudge?” she said out loud, except it wasn’t fudge, it was the other word. She had a naked toddler standing in the living room , she had poop on her, the carpets, the dogs, she had poop every where! It was the worst poop apocalypse that has ever happened, the news stations would surely pick up this story. Someone was at her door. Who would be at her door? Not only is it nap time, she hadn’t ordered anything so it couldn’t of been those pesky Amazon Deliver Drivers who only deliver during nap time and love ringing to the door bell to let you know there is a package. NO, it was worse. It was so much worse. It was “DUN DUN DUN”! Grandpa Calendo.

Her mouth fell open, her heart started racing, NOT GRANDPA CALENDO! NOT DURING THE POOP APOCALYPSE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

She threw her poop covered sweatshirt in her room, ran to her toddler with a diaper. RING RING. He rang the door bell again, you do not keep Grandpa Calendo waiting, oh gosh, she quickly wiped poop off the dog, looked at the carpet, looked at him waiting at the door. She threw a towel over it! She was frantic. She ran to the door in a hurry, and an apology. Grandpa Calendo entered the Poop Castle. He walked into a naked toddler, a poop covered dog, a poop covered living room, and a sweating mom. He just shook his head and smiled with a “How you guys doing?”.

You guys, yesterdays devotional was about humility and let me tell you, this is a true story and humbled my mom butt so fast. It always seems to happen that way doesn’t it? Random drop by during the worst of the times. I honestly am still laughing about this entire situation. I know a lot of you do not know Grandpa Calendo, but a lot of you do. He is my husbands grandfather, and the man who raised him after his father passed away. It is so hard to describe this man, I guess, he is who he is and you love him for it. He has the heart of a saint, but you do not bullshit him. He was stopping by randomly because he bought Gianni a new winter coat and snow pants. That man is seriously the best. He does not call, no. He just shows up. When he shows up you let him in, even if you are covered in poop.

I have been a mom for almost 17 years. I have so many stories, good, bad, ugly, funny, ridiculous. You name it, I have it. But, this one is definitely going to go down in the books as probably one of those moments I will laugh at during the most inappropriate times. He was coming to give us a great gift, he loves his Great Grandson. He walked into a war zone of me feeling like I was totally failing at this mom thing.

I am horrible at being vulnerable, and that was a very vulnerable moment. I always pride myself looking somewhat put together. Our house is lived in but clean. I never really truly worry about when people do random drop byes because we keep our house presentable, it happens a lot, and we love it. Our door is always open to whoever wants to come hang out. But to have the man who helped raise your husband, one of your husbands idols, the monarch of the family, at your door, after your toddler literally just exploded with poop is that moment in time that you just sit down and accept the defeat that is parenting.

Parenting is by far the hardest thing you will ever do. You may think you are nailing it and then your toddler poops on your dog. You may think you are just a rock star at this mom thing, and right when your child poops on your dog, your Grandfather shows up at the door with a coat. Let’s keep it real ladies, some days you just need a large glass of wine at the end of it all.

I really do not have a full lesson for this blog post, I honestly just had to share how God humbled me this week. He saw me getting to prideful and he took that pride and dumped it out of my toddlers little behind.

Him laughing at me after we got it all cleaned up

There will be more on humility, and getting rid of those negative thoughts in today’s devotional. If you would like to follow the devotional click over to the devotional section! I will have day 3 ready to go shortly.

What are some ways that you have been humbled as a parent this week? Please share with me to make me feel better about my own life! Hahahaha

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